Grief

I have experienced loss many times in my life. The number of loved oned I’ve lost grows every year. “Yes I know it grows for you as well”. What really amazes me is how I cope with these losses. You see, when months have passed I often think “well I’ll handle the next one better.” Just for the recod, I NEVER do. The reason it doesn’t get better or easier………..death is not an event. It really isn’t something you get better at with practice. Each time isn’t about death or an event or a test it’s about a person a loss. Each person who touches our lives does it in a different way then any other person so, their loss is different. I’ve lost many people, a husband,,  both of my grandparents , aunts, uncles, a neice and a nephew and friends. I recently lost a neighbor now I know that doesn’t sound like such a big deal. But you see, Mr. Chambers was no ordinary neighbor. I’ve known him for over forty years. He was the next door neighbor when my grandparents owned this house. His son and I grew up together(sort of). We were always friends. He wasn’t my father we had no blood relation but, I feel like a huge piece of my family has just been torn away. He was always there for me. He always made me feel special. He always had time for me. Now he’s gone. His only son died suddenly a few years ago, that was hard. Brian was only a year older then I, his parents took his loss very hard, as parents are apt to do. Now Mrs. Chambers is alone next door. And I feel it. I feel her alone. I have felt this “alone” before. I want to help her but I don’t know how. I feel like I’m letting Mr. Chambers down because I don’t know how to help.

~ by sharifisher on August 22, 2007.